Apparantly, I am an inspiration. Or so said my friend Connie after a few drinks the night before last. I'm up there in her books with Coleen McLaughlin, Jordan, and her Mum, as an example of triumphing over adversity, and making the best of what you've got going for you. I'm really not quite sure what to make of this, or how to act in my newfound status as icon...

PS. I can't stand Coleen. or Jordan. Her mum's quite nice though.

Which File Extension are You?


Is this a good thing, or just quite superbly patronising??

OK, so the Great Big Job Hunt continues...it's been a bit of a strange few weeks, as when I finished my dissertation on the 29th I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but since then I've read and learned soo much. Got my heart pretty much set on Management Consultancy, which is dangerous, becuase the potential for disappointment/ being slapped down is HUGE. I'm not a big fan of rejection, but I guess that's something I'm going to have to get used to over the next few weeks/months/indefinite period of unemployment.

The strange thing about this job hunt is how much it affects my moods- I have periods of elation and confidence, which within a few hours turns into absolutely apathy and a conviction that there is no way in hell that anyone would want to employ an English Student, whose best work experience is temping as a receptionist. Internships? nope. Insight into the industry? well, what I learnt in the last week... Anyhow, my consolation is that I've seen so many of my friends go through this rather dispiriting process in the last year, and pretty much all of them have come through the other side, and have now got themselves nice spangly jobs, and posh little flats in North London. I know that I can get there, but I want to get there NOW, and not have to go through the interminable process of application and rejection.

So, I had a good day yesterday, when I went to the OU Summer Careers Fair, and chatted to this really lovely girl from Bain- her personality and enthusiasm really inspired me. You know when you really just get on well with someone pretty much straight off? And the best news is that she's part of the recruitment process, and was very enthusiastic about me applying, woo! I shall definitely apply, and am really really hoping this will go somewhere. All the same, I keep on getting this nagging feeling that I'm actually rather stupid, and don't possess the brilliant mind I need in order to bag the job.

I also chatted to some people from McKinsey's and was distinctly unimpressed- the girl seemed distant and uninterested, and more to the point, didn't seem to know that much about the company. Unlike other firms, who had sent along their consultants-obviously the ones with the real insight- she was a recruiter. I have a feeling that this attitude might mean that they're victims of their own success, and can't be bothered to push the boat out for these events. Still, they're one of the top strategy management consultants, so I shall apply anyway...

When I returned home, feeling quite drained from the experience (strangely stressful and tiring), I met up with Daan. He's acting very strangely about the whole process. Whenever I talk about the whole career thing, he goes quiet, and gets that funny look on his face which means that he disagrees with your values, or something like that. He seems pretty intimidated by my new-found enthusiasm for career etc, and has this idea that all competition/ achievement is bad. OK, I see that there are other things in life, but he really does shut himself off to the realisation that we all have to earn a living somehow. He's been pretty lucky (and, undoubtedly, talented) in getting a ridiculous amount of scholarships, but I think that makes him fail to understand the reality of not having funding. grr. So, I really want him to join me on this scary-ness of finding a job, but at the moment, I feel like I can't really talk to him about it. Which will become more of a problem when we're apart, because this job thing is going to take up more, not less of my time in the future.. Problem is, I think part of his dislike of the 'career' discussion is that he feels that it takes me further away from him and Oxford, and all that he does, which does have (inevitably) a certain degree of truth in it. What I think he doesn't realise is that he makes it worse for himself by refusing to try and integrate himself into this new part of my life. Oh well, we shall just have to see how things go..I do have hope that they will improve.

Well hello, you have convinced me! Finally, here I am. I guess that my imminent departure from the world of Oxford has persuaded me that this might in fact be a rather good way of keeping in touch with a few people that I see around and about..